I know I gave the Boss a ton of shit for bringing in more dirt. But it turns out he is really smart because bugs are kicking our veggie garden’s ass. Yes, I realize sharing with bugs is part of organic gardening. But it really pisses me off when I spend hours precisely planting thousands of carrots seeds by hand and I don’t see a single fucking frigging carrot out of it.

I see the little sprouts. I get all excited. Then I come out the next day and wonder, hmm, was I imagining things?

We can’t grow anything in our garden. Ironic, huh. They even wiped out all our dill, and that’s a weed.

The bugs take the seedlings out as they start to germinate.  It is ridiculously frustrating. Its been going on for several years.

It is a time of much anguish for me; yet the Boss manages to stay positive.

Me: The bugs are eating all our food!

The Boss: Not to worry, we’ve got plenty. Don’t let it bug you.

Good thing the bugs stay away from the corn seedlings and the tomatoes or the boss wouldn’t be so socialist about the situation.

Some people see the garden as half full, others see it as half bug eaten.

The Boss is right. Even if only a few things germinate, we’ll still have plenty.  We just need to rework our gardening strategy, which is more offensive than defensive.

I know I am supposed to get out there with a flashlight in the middle of the night to catch the little buggers. That is most likely not going to happen. I can barely bring myself to get out of bed to go pee.

I will replant and replant and replant and REPLANT (like 10,000 carrot seeds) until we get over the mysterious hump, the weather warms, the offending pest transforms into something else and suddenly, miraculously, the garden is safe — end of June, perhaps.

We are starting to suspect it is something related to the leaf mulch we are using (the garlic loves the leaf mulch).

This bug issue tests my patience. Gardening is supposed to be a Zen experience. I try not to let it bug me. I try to focus on what’s growing. But sometimes all I see are many empty rows where there should be lettuce, beets, spinach, beans and carrots.

Could it be slugs?

Is there an entomologist in the house?