Asparagus is a practice in delayed gratification. Unlike lettuce — 25 days, wham! You’ve got a salad — growing asparagus takes YEARS. Years?!? I was hoping I hadn’t heard that right. Did the Boss really say we have to wait two years to eat our newly planted asparagus? Another LTYG (long time yooper gardener) said it could take three years. Well, shit. I better curb my excitement about eating homegrown asparagus anytime soon.

I’ve had plenty of practice being disappointed by asparagus. We’ve had an asparagus patch for over 20 years and I’ve eaten maybe a handful of our asparagus that entire time. It’s definitely time to take a different approach. It just hasn’t flourished at its current location — despite our best and most frustrating attempts. So the Boss dug a 35-foot long trench last fall in a different location and we started over. Per usual, planting required a tape measure. And these asparagus plants, they look dead. No wonder it takes years for these things to mature. They say that a successful asparagus patch will produce for 20 years. We are planting for the future.

It felt like planting a big patch of hope. I sure hope this new patch does better than the last patch. I hope I’m planting this correctly. I hope critters don’t eat it. I hope we don’t have to wait three years to eat it.